Tuesday, July 30, 2013
The first day I arrived in Beijing, a really friendly guy called Andri who reached Beijing before us, like a week prior, greeted us and showed us around.
We went out together. Even though we were unfamiliar with all of the people, but we managed to get along. The first outing with a lot of people, he was there. We went to this food street night market with a lot of weird food. I remembered him trying out weird stuffs along with Jeff. and then I remembered he or Jeff bought this colorful looking drinks with smoke coming out of it. And he was saying that it's reaaallllyyyy good so that everyone will try it and it turns out it's nasty stuffs. Then he'd laugh like crazy. (Jeff and Andri, since the beginning you were mischievous!)
And so time flies.... We went to buy our bikes together (all same type, just different colors. Haha. I remembered Jeff bought black, Andri blue and I was left with a bright pink. -_-; not exactly my choice of color).
And then we went having our classes together. We ate together. We traveled together. We have fun and we laughed. We shared experiences and meet new friends.
And from that day on, we kept in touch. Maybe not as often as I would like. But is still okay. Because we know that how long it'd take, wherever we are, we'll always stay connected.
We made future plans together. Or at least the plan on December. Where we're supposed to visit his hometown for the first time on a happy occasion, his wedding to his long term girlfriend!
Oh when we heard their stories from the beginning.... Felt like watching a drama. Hahaha.
And so the fateful day.... I woke up, lazily showering.... Casually checking my phone when I saw 2 miscalls. "How rare! 2 miscalls!" And I started checking the messages. And it hits... It won't register in my head. It's a lie. It's a mistake. It's.... It's... What is this!
And so I called my bestest friend to confirm. And we cried. And I'm still in denial. And I cried. And it felt like a lonnngggg day. And it feels suffocating. When I finally accept, more to for my respect to the family of the deceased than to believing it, we were forced to think more. Trips to visit one last time, flowers to sent... Is so hectic. So sad. We are supposed to go there for a wedding party and not to visit a grave.
He might not be my bestest friend. I didn't come looking for him for all the trivial things. But his presence in our life was enough. Enough to make us grieve so much so that we fallen sick. That's how big his impact is. He was one of the wisest friend I know. He was friendly. He was mischievous. He was giving. He was caring. And most of all, he was loving. The time we've spent together won't be forgotten. His voice, his laughter, it will always be there in our hearts.
Rest in peace dear friend and beloved brother. We will see you in Heaven when the time comes.
We went out together. Even though we were unfamiliar with all of the people, but we managed to get along. The first outing with a lot of people, he was there. We went to this food street night market with a lot of weird food. I remembered him trying out weird stuffs along with Jeff. and then I remembered he or Jeff bought this colorful looking drinks with smoke coming out of it. And he was saying that it's reaaallllyyyy good so that everyone will try it and it turns out it's nasty stuffs. Then he'd laugh like crazy. (Jeff and Andri, since the beginning you were mischievous!)
And so time flies.... We went to buy our bikes together (all same type, just different colors. Haha. I remembered Jeff bought black, Andri blue and I was left with a bright pink. -_-; not exactly my choice of color).
And then we went having our classes together. We ate together. We traveled together. We have fun and we laughed. We shared experiences and meet new friends.
And from that day on, we kept in touch. Maybe not as often as I would like. But is still okay. Because we know that how long it'd take, wherever we are, we'll always stay connected.
We made future plans together. Or at least the plan on December. Where we're supposed to visit his hometown for the first time on a happy occasion, his wedding to his long term girlfriend!
Oh when we heard their stories from the beginning.... Felt like watching a drama. Hahaha.
And so the fateful day.... I woke up, lazily showering.... Casually checking my phone when I saw 2 miscalls. "How rare! 2 miscalls!" And I started checking the messages. And it hits... It won't register in my head. It's a lie. It's a mistake. It's.... It's... What is this!
And so I called my bestest friend to confirm. And we cried. And I'm still in denial. And I cried. And it felt like a lonnngggg day. And it feels suffocating. When I finally accept, more to for my respect to the family of the deceased than to believing it, we were forced to think more. Trips to visit one last time, flowers to sent... Is so hectic. So sad. We are supposed to go there for a wedding party and not to visit a grave.
He might not be my bestest friend. I didn't come looking for him for all the trivial things. But his presence in our life was enough. Enough to make us grieve so much so that we fallen sick. That's how big his impact is. He was one of the wisest friend I know. He was friendly. He was mischievous. He was giving. He was caring. And most of all, he was loving. The time we've spent together won't be forgotten. His voice, his laughter, it will always be there in our hearts.
Rest in peace dear friend and beloved brother. We will see you in Heaven when the time comes.
Monday, July 15, 2013
How wonderful it would be, if we could stay as a child. Free of responsibilites and unending wants. Just clinging to whatever that is dear and held them tight closely to heart. To be fascinated by every single thing, even a drop of rain, the flash of lightning, sound of cars passing and honking, the birds chirping, people talking. To be amazed by the swans and ducks swimming in the lake, the horses clomping, by the drums and the dance of the dragons and tigers. To be filled with giddy just by the simplest things.
5 years after finishing uni, 2 years being in the working class category, here I am. Still amazed by the little things, only if I remember to stop and to notice things around me.
I have grown weary, tired. The little things that happens day by day. They are all so little and mundane if you look them one by one, so insignificant and stupid to be concerned about. But when they've been piling up days after days, months after months, unrealizing it, it just take your strength away. And the time is as such that we are required to be constantly on guard, and a little slip would cause a great distress, draining the energy even more.
Now I am at a transition era. I know that I cannot avoid it even if I can postpone it. And even if I postpone it, I am not even sure I'll have the strength to go through it. And I am at a total loss. Pressured still by all sides. Without any clear guidance. Only building up the stress inside.
I desperately want to let go. To not be drowning. To just shut off. And so I cried out, "God, please help me. Please help me. ... Please help me. Please..."
5 years after finishing uni, 2 years being in the working class category, here I am. Still amazed by the little things, only if I remember to stop and to notice things around me.
I have grown weary, tired. The little things that happens day by day. They are all so little and mundane if you look them one by one, so insignificant and stupid to be concerned about. But when they've been piling up days after days, months after months, unrealizing it, it just take your strength away. And the time is as such that we are required to be constantly on guard, and a little slip would cause a great distress, draining the energy even more.
Now I am at a transition era. I know that I cannot avoid it even if I can postpone it. And even if I postpone it, I am not even sure I'll have the strength to go through it. And I am at a total loss. Pressured still by all sides. Without any clear guidance. Only building up the stress inside.
I desperately want to let go. To not be drowning. To just shut off. And so I cried out, "God, please help me. Please help me. ... Please help me. Please..."
;;
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